My husband and I celebrated another wedding anniversary some weeks ago. After the yearly celebration was over, we ended the night talking about the past. I realized that despite the ups and downs, it's been a wonderful marriage, so far. We are still very much in love and have found a new and deeper appreciation for each other. Let me share a few things I've learned about staying happily and wonderfully married.
1. It's okay to sleep even if you haven't settled an argument.
You often hear this advice during weddings: "Don't go to bed angry at each other." That advice doesn't necessarily work all the time. If getting some shut-eye will help both of you gain some perspective, go ahead, sleep. It's better to stay away from each other, rather than say a lot of nasty things you don't really mean. Remember, those nasty things are hard to take back when the argument is over.
2. It's important to marry a guy that will not only be a good husband, but he should also be a good father to your children.
A good husband and a good father do not always come in one package. It's difficult to predict how a guy will turn out, but there will always be tell-tale signs. Open your eyes and be objective when choosing a guy to marry, no matter how difficult it might be. Trust me, it will be worth it. Once you see your almost perfect husband treat your children well, you will fall in love with him all over again.
3. Marry your bestfriend
You won't always be consistently in love with your partner 24/7, year after year. Nothing to be alarmed about. It's perfectly normal to love him 150% today and just 15% the following week after being married for a while. During the times when the love meter is low, it will be your friendship that will see you through till the next fill up. I'm not saying that you should only marry someone from your existing circle of friends, but when you marry a guy, he should also be the one person you can pour your heart out to and be there for you no matter what - a best friend.
4. Compromise is the key to a harmonious relationship.
You can't expect two individuals who did not grow up under the same roof to live harmoniously without compromising. If you don't give in sometimes, your marriage won't pan out.
5. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
6. It's okay to say "I'm sorry" even if it's not your fault.
Sometimes your partner gets very emotional because he feels that you don't understand where he is coming from. Saying "I'm sorry" will help calm him down and eventualy enable him to gain some perspective. Once he sees that you understand how he feels, he will be more open to hear your side.
7. From time to time, reminisce about how you met and fell in love.
After the honeymoon is over and real life sets in, it's easy to lose sight of what made you marry each other. Reminiscing about the past helps you remember the wonderful beginnings of your relationship.
8. Love his parents. He will love you more.
9. Lust is just as important as love.
Here's the truth. The one thing that you have with your partner that neither of you share with anybody else is sex. Love will take you through the tough times, while sex is, well, fun. Do some role playing or rent costumes. Do whatever floats your boat to keep the passion going. Sex deepens the bond that you already have with your partner.
1. It's okay to sleep even if you haven't settled an argument.
You often hear this advice during weddings: "Don't go to bed angry at each other." That advice doesn't necessarily work all the time. If getting some shut-eye will help both of you gain some perspective, go ahead, sleep. It's better to stay away from each other, rather than say a lot of nasty things you don't really mean. Remember, those nasty things are hard to take back when the argument is over.
2. It's important to marry a guy that will not only be a good husband, but he should also be a good father to your children.
A good husband and a good father do not always come in one package. It's difficult to predict how a guy will turn out, but there will always be tell-tale signs. Open your eyes and be objective when choosing a guy to marry, no matter how difficult it might be. Trust me, it will be worth it. Once you see your almost perfect husband treat your children well, you will fall in love with him all over again.
3. Marry your bestfriend
You won't always be consistently in love with your partner 24/7, year after year. Nothing to be alarmed about. It's perfectly normal to love him 150% today and just 15% the following week after being married for a while. During the times when the love meter is low, it will be your friendship that will see you through till the next fill up. I'm not saying that you should only marry someone from your existing circle of friends, but when you marry a guy, he should also be the one person you can pour your heart out to and be there for you no matter what - a best friend.
4. Compromise is the key to a harmonious relationship.
You can't expect two individuals who did not grow up under the same roof to live harmoniously without compromising. If you don't give in sometimes, your marriage won't pan out.
5. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
6. It's okay to say "I'm sorry" even if it's not your fault.
Sometimes your partner gets very emotional because he feels that you don't understand where he is coming from. Saying "I'm sorry" will help calm him down and eventualy enable him to gain some perspective. Once he sees that you understand how he feels, he will be more open to hear your side.
7. From time to time, reminisce about how you met and fell in love.
After the honeymoon is over and real life sets in, it's easy to lose sight of what made you marry each other. Reminiscing about the past helps you remember the wonderful beginnings of your relationship.
8. Love his parents. He will love you more.
9. Lust is just as important as love.
Here's the truth. The one thing that you have with your partner that neither of you share with anybody else is sex. Love will take you through the tough times, while sex is, well, fun. Do some role playing or rent costumes. Do whatever floats your boat to keep the passion going. Sex deepens the bond that you already have with your partner.
