Should I live with my in-laws? That's a question that soon-to-be married people often ask themselves. There are numerous reasons why one would consider saying yes to sharing a house with their in-laws. The most common reason is dictated by the need for a newly-married couple to save enough money to build or move into their own home. Others move back into their in-laws' home when they start having children. After all, who else can you trust with your children when you are away at work, but the grandparents.
Here's the deal. Please exhaust all means before you decide to move in with your in-laws. This is not to say that in-laws can not have a close and loving relationship with each other. In fact, you should cultivate a harmonius relationship with your partner's parents. But you must remember that moving into someone else's home means adapting to the way they live. It also means being subjected to the same rules that apply to the children of that household. The only difference is that the natural son or daughter grew up with those rules and is probably used to them by now or has found a way to deal with them. But it will be very difficult for a daughter-in-law, for example, to accept and abide by those rules because she grew up with a totally different set of rules. C'mon, even siblings have their own misunderstandings and they grew up under one roof! Even you have arguments with your own parents and you were raised by them! And when you have a misunderstanding with your parents or siblings, your love for each other willl make you forget the nasty things that you said or did to each other. But you don't have that same love going for you with your in-laws. To be frank, it was your husband or wife who chose you, not the family. It's crazy to expect your partner's family to love you the way he or she does. Your love is unique, that's why you're getting married or are already married, in the first place.
If it's absolutely necessary or unavoidable to live with in-laws, it seems that a husband living with his wife's parents works best. I can only guess why that is true in most cases. Maybe because guys are less sensitive? A friend says that there can only be one queen in the house. She has a point.
I'm not saying that living with your in-laws will surely end up into one big mess. It could work and if it does, you'll have 2 more people loving you. But why risk it?
Here's the deal. Please exhaust all means before you decide to move in with your in-laws. This is not to say that in-laws can not have a close and loving relationship with each other. In fact, you should cultivate a harmonius relationship with your partner's parents. But you must remember that moving into someone else's home means adapting to the way they live. It also means being subjected to the same rules that apply to the children of that household. The only difference is that the natural son or daughter grew up with those rules and is probably used to them by now or has found a way to deal with them. But it will be very difficult for a daughter-in-law, for example, to accept and abide by those rules because she grew up with a totally different set of rules. C'mon, even siblings have their own misunderstandings and they grew up under one roof! Even you have arguments with your own parents and you were raised by them! And when you have a misunderstanding with your parents or siblings, your love for each other willl make you forget the nasty things that you said or did to each other. But you don't have that same love going for you with your in-laws. To be frank, it was your husband or wife who chose you, not the family. It's crazy to expect your partner's family to love you the way he or she does. Your love is unique, that's why you're getting married or are already married, in the first place.
If it's absolutely necessary or unavoidable to live with in-laws, it seems that a husband living with his wife's parents works best. I can only guess why that is true in most cases. Maybe because guys are less sensitive? A friend says that there can only be one queen in the house. She has a point.
I'm not saying that living with your in-laws will surely end up into one big mess. It could work and if it does, you'll have 2 more people loving you. But why risk it?
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